Sweetness of the Pause

image“I broke a few bones that’s it…in the grand scheme of life…no biggy.?!”

That is what I told myself, my clients, my loved ones and friends on Monday. There was a small part of me that believed it, I was a lil in shock,  and I want to teach my daughter to see the silver lining in all things!

My insides festered and SCREAmED!!!

“Yes it was a Biggie!” Insert embarrassment,rage -FULL on temper tantrum!!! Pain, frustration…Finally 2 days later some SURRENDER!

And my poor husband Tuesday night got to the truth…

“I’m broken! And My daddy is dying! And Life Sucks!!!! Why me?? WTF is going on in the universe!!! How will I teach, cook, etc…” #meltdown in 3-2-1…

About an hour later… I sat really still…

Deep Breath Ursula!

Wait a minute…that attitude does not foster me feeling Calm, Secure, or Free…it makes me feel more “I feel awful -just broken!”

I know the truth, I practice yoga on the mat daily…now I need to practice mindfulness off the mat…take what I preach to the rooftops to heart…Pause and Breathe.

It is ok to spend a minute or two in it…feeling the moment, crying, screaming…but more than a minute is a waste. Truly, I believe we do get to choose and control most of what we endure in the way of suffering…let it go!!!

While some of the above is true, I did break 2 bones in my left hand, my daddy is sick with cancer and it is challenging.

It is also true that All of my life does NOT suck, in fact life is mostly good.  My difficulties (stuff I can’t control) are  just that- “Things I can not control” -so I pulled up my big girl panties and started my day.

First, I wrote my 3s (3 things I am grateful for… 3 “I am” statements of affirmations, and 3 things that light me up…

This is a morning activity I do with my daughter…she’s 3 and her answers light me up.

I noticed Saturday I was finding it sweet to PAUSE for a moment to mindfully see what was really taking place in my world…Collecting beautiful moments…

My 3 year old is truly ready for Food Network TV, making mini pancakes, French onion dip and cookies today most “by myself” or maybe Comedy Central making up jokes and silly faces to make everyone “happy”.

My husband is loyal, sweet and Sexy as the day we met! It is fun to watch him excited about his new beard, watch him help his clients and man did he help with dishes this week! 8 years of ups and downs I’m SO lucky to have him as my teammate!

My girlfriends (tribe!) whatever you call them are some of the most amazing, uplifting, smart ladies in the universe! I’m inspired daily by so many of them, creativity, fight and adventerousness!

My art, teaching and chef skills are not really on point even with one hand, I’ve been really impressed with how well I improvise and how heightened my sense are. #talent #make magic

I used my broken hand to make me more present…slowing down to nurture and enjoy this whole Sweet Week.

It is not always easy to initially shift our mood, but it is SO worth it. I am worth it. I am creating my world around me with my attitude. I am striving to feel calm, secure and free!   How do you want to feel? How can you make that happen?

Pause and think about it…you are worth it too!

Xo

Skinny

 

 

 

 

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